


Meaning of Life Stuff by babs

by babs



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode Tag, Friendship, Gen, Missing Scene, Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-17
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2017-10-18 06:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/185982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babs/pseuds/babs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A missing scene and tag to The Fifth Race.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meaning of Life Stuff by babs

"Daniel?"

Daniel squared his shoulders and looked at Sam. He didn't have an answer for her. For all he knew, he could have just allowed Jack to step through the Stargate to his death. He pulled his arms up, wrapping them around his middle. "I don't know, Sam. I only know it was what Jack had to do."

"I need to get to the controls," Sam said to General Hammond. "Sir, we may be able to figure out where he's going."

General Hammond nodded his consent, and Sam left the gateroom muttering to herself, already at work on the problem.

"Doctor Jackson," Hammond began and Daniel dragged his eyes from the gate.

"I know, sir. But we had no choice. Jack had no choice." Daniel pushed up his glasses. He believed in Jack's overwhelming need to step through the gate onto who knew what world or universe. The others hadn't been with Jack-they hadn't seen the increasing desperation as Jack lost his ability to communicate. They hadn't seen the brown eyes darken with frustration. Daniel looked at the now quiescent gate. If the others didn't believe in Jack, Daniel would have to carry the belief himself. He turned his back on the gate and walked from the room, heading up to the control room behind his remaining teammates.

Sam and Simmons were sitting at the console and Daniel stood silently, watching the computer monitor along with the others. He saw the flashing symbols, not allowing what they said to register in his mind.

"We've lost the traveler," Simmons said.

No one looked at him; no one said a word. Daniel saw Sam bring her hands up to her head and then scoot her chair over a little, ready to take over and retrieve Jack from wherever he was.

Daniel's mouth went dry, the computer monitor's blinking, "Tracking Lost," a condemnation of his inability to help his friend when Jack had needed him most. Jack had trusted him to understand when no words were left. Had he let his best friend down?

Sam said something about redialing, and Daniel watched as she tried to get the gate to accept the eighth chevron. It failed, just as Daniel knew it would. He stared at the gate as if he could see through it, as if he could reach out to Jack across the galaxy and touch him in the far reaches of the universe.

A feeling of helplessness filled him and Daniel stepped back from the observation window. He glanced at Hammond who was speaking on the phone.

"Sir?" he asked when the general hung up. But Simmons was already talking, relaying the bad news.

"The device hooked to the power grid is dead."

  
The control room was usually a noisy place. Not loud noise, but the quiet sounds of people talking as they gave orders and rechecked programs. There was an underlying hum of equipment, but now there was silence. Daniel stood still, staying where he was, standing out of the way, keeping his arms tight around his body, feeling as cold as he had that first day back from Abydos a year ago.

Was he now responsible for Jack's death? Should he have insisted Jack be kept under sedation in the infirmary or locked away in a cell? Jack hadn't been able to talk to him with words, but Jack's eyes had held a look of desperation and trust in Daniel that he'd not been able to refuse.

Sam was staring at the computer and Daniel wanted to scream at her to do something, anything to get Jack back. He watched as Sam leaned over to say something to Simmons, unable to hear what she was saying only that her voice was low and urgent.

Damn but Daniel was sick of losing people he cared about. He bit the inside of his cheek, the pain forcing him to concentrate and focus. He wasn't going to believe Jack was dead. Jack knew what he was doing, and Daniel had to believe he was right in allowing Jack to go. He tried to imagine himself in Jack's position, slowly losing his ability to communicate with those around him. He could still remember adjusting to life on Abydos after the gate closed behind Jack and the others. The first week hadn't been too bad-the celebrations had lasted almost that whole week, and he'd been giddy with the newness of everything, the wonder of Sha're. But then one night nearly a month later by Earth reckoning, it all hit him. He was living on a planet light years away from home. He'd walked around for days, unable to speak, all the Abydonian words he'd learned gone. Sha're had feared for him and worried he was sick. He remembered walking away from the town into the desert, away from people and smells and sounds that were suddenly, frighteningly unfamiliar. He sat in the sand and enjoyed the silence. Kasuf and Skaara had come after him, guiding him back to the small house he shared with Sha're and tucked him into blankets, none of them speaking to him. If he closed his eyes now, he could still feel Sha're's cool hand on his forehead and remember the taste of cool water as she held a cup to his lips. It had taken him a few days before he ventured speaking again, before he could interact with those around him.

Daniel opened his eyes, thinking of the weariness he'd last seen in Jack's features. If Jack came back to them, Daniel vowed he would find a way to communicate with him, giving a lifeline and support.

He saw Sam bend closer to the console, pointing to monitor with a finger and Simmons nodding. Daniel stepped towards her, recognizing her mind at work with a new plan. She looked away from the console and up at General Hammond.

"We'll have shut down and reboot."

"Can you close the iris if necessary?" Hammond asked.

Sam shook her head, and Daniel could feel a lump forming in his stomach to join the one in his throat. The situation was going downhill fast. He looked at Hammond, surprised when the general told Sam to do whatever it took to get things back on line.

Movement caught his eye, and he could see the Stargate moving, preparing to open a wormhole. Daniel looked at Teal'c wondering what was going on in his friend's thoughts. He'd remained silent throughout the ordeal, not speaking since his offer to follow Jack through the gate. Maybe Teal'c was blaming himself at things gone wrong as was Daniel.

The wormhole opened, and Daniel held his breath, curling his hands into fists and feeling the bite of his fingernails into his palms. A familiar figure appeared on the ramp, Daniel able to recognize Jack's walk, his form even backlit by the wormhole. He didn't wait for anyone else, joy at seeing Jack among them, alive and apparently uninjured, taking precedence over protocol. He ran the short distance in the hall towards the steps, hearing Teal'c call his name.

Daniel saw one of the SFs tighten his grip on his weapon as he approached the ramp.

"Doctor Jackson," the man said in a low voice, warning him things might not be as they seemed.

"It's okay." Daniel turned to smile at the young captain and nodded to Teal'c who was approaching at a more sedate place.

"I'm back." There was that smile of Jack's, and Daniel suddenly wasn't sure whether to welcome Jack home or to berate him for causing all the worry. Curiosity won out over both.

"What happened?" he asked and heard Teal'c ask a question of his own.

Jack smiled at both of them, and Daniel knew his friend was back. Back and whole and sane. He said something about meaning of life stuff and Daniel nodded still stunned that Jack was here alive and well.

"We're gonna be alright," Jack said and smiled.

Yeah, yeah we are, Jack, Daniel thought.

"Colonel O'Neill, I want you to report to Doctor Fraiser immediately. We can debrief after your examination," General Hammond ordered, bringing a bit of reality to the situation.

Jack opened his mouth to say something and then shut it with an audible snap. He nodded and began walking from the room.

Daniel caught up to him in two steps, having a million questions but biting his tongue. Jack looked tired, he thought. The smile Jack had moments ago faded and a frown creasing his forehead.

"You feel okay, Jack?" Daniel asked when Jack rubbed at his forehead.

"Huh? Oh yeah, fine." Jack nodded. He leaned against the wall while they waited for the elevator. "Just...just..." He straightened as the elevator dinged, announcing its arrival. "Whole lot of stuff."

Daniel nodded and pushed up his glasses as he allowed Jack to precede him into the elevator. Jack was silent. Daniel spent the time glancing at Jack sideways and trying not to appear overly concerned.

* * * *

  
Nearly four hours later, Daniel was beginning to wonder why he'd been worried that Jack was silent, because once he'd gotten to the infirmary and Doctor Fraiser had begun her exam, Jack hadn't stopped talking. His verbosity had continued through the debriefing where Jack explained about the Asgard in as much detail as possible. Daniel thought it would stop then, that once Jack had shared his experiences he'd quiet down once again, but Daniel had been wrong. Currently his companion in the car was singing along with the radio interspersing it with a comment or two on the passing scenery. And quite frankly, it was beginning to drive Daniel nuts.

"Jack?" Daniel kept his eyes on the car ahead of him.

"Daniel?" Jack used Daniel's dashboard for a drum. "Something wrong?"

"Uh, no. Not exactly." Daniel flicked the turn signal on, relieved to see Jack's house not too far away.

"Then what did you say my name for?" Jack asked, leaning back in the seat and starting to whistle.

"Nothing, nothing. Just forget it." Daniel pulled into the driveway in relief.

"Hey you want to order some pizza or something? Maybe Chinese? Thai? Greek?" Jack rattled the choices off as he got out of the car.

"I'll call for a pizza." Daniel locked the car and followed Jack into the house.

"Order some of those garlic breadsticks too. And maybe a salad. Yeah, a Caesar salad but no anchovies. I hate anchovies. Did you know that, Daniel? My old man used to eat sardine sandwiches every Friday. Yep, Mom would pack him a little can of them. The kind in mustard sauce. I mean, how gross is that? Who wants to eat little fish from a can?"

"Jack," Daniel made his decision as he held the phone. Doctor Fraiser said Jack needed someone to stay with him overnight just in case, but at this rate, Daniel would be driven insane before it was time for bed.

"Yeah, Daniel?" Jack stopped his pacing and waited.

"Chill," Daniel finally said and regretted it the moment the word left his mouth.

"Chill? Daniel, where did you come up with that?" Jack shook his head and wandered into the kitchen muttering something to himself. Daniel took advantage of the somewhat quieter room and made the phone call to the pizzeria Jack always used.

"Hey Daniel?" Jack called from his kitchen. "Doctor Fraiser didn't say anything about beer did she?"

Daniel slammed down the phone, grabbing the bottle out of Jack's hand. "She did. No alcohol for twenty four hours. Don't you remember?"

"No." Jack shook his head and sighed. "I'll make us some coffee."

Daniel placed the bottle back in the refrigerator. "Maybe you'd better stick to juice or um, better yet, water," he suggested.

"You mean you don't want coffee." Jack laughed with an unbelieving snort.

"No, I don't." Daniel shook his head. "And uh, Jack, maybe you want to sit down or something? Sit down and be quiet until the pizza comes?" He added, hoping Jack got the hint.

Jack looked down at his clothes. "Maybe I'll go take a quick shower. The pizza should be here by the time I'm done."

"That's a good idea," Daniel nodded, gesturing to the doorway. "Why don't you do that?" He didn't move from his spot until he heard Jack close his bedroom door a few minutes later and then he let out an explosive sigh into the silence. He straightened and pulled a roll of paper towels from the cabinet along with some glasses. He rummaged in a silverware drawer to find some forks for the salad and found two clean bowls.

Daniel frowned as he finished paying the teenager for the delivered pizza. He was sure Jack would have been out of the shower by now. Come to think of it, he couldn't hear the water running anymore. He placed the food on the counter and walked up the steps towards Jack's bedroom.

Daniel knocked on the door and when there was no answer, he pushed it open, relieved it didn't creak. He smiled as he looked in the room. Jack was sprawled belly down on his bed, sound asleep, the light snores being emitted letting him know Jack was fine except for being tired. He closed the door behind him and went back to the kitchen, grabbing containers to put the food away. He pulled a jar of peanut butter from the shelf and a loaf of bread from the counter. Minutes later he was happily settled at the table with his sandwich, a pot of coffee brewing on the countertop and a book in front of his nose.

  
* * * *

Eyes popping open in the darkened room, heart pounding, Daniel sat up straight in bed and flicked on the bedside lamp, his eyes tearing at the sudden light.

He pulled his knees up, leaning forward and resting his forehead on them, taking a few deep breaths. Jack had come back through the Stargate, Daniel hadn't allowed him to walk to his death. Everything was okay, he reminded himself but he still crawled out of bed, walking on bare feet to Jack's bedroom. He rapped on the door twice, putting his ear to the door to see if he could hear Jack's snores. Alarmed when he heard nothing, Daniel opened the door, calling Jack's name.

The bedclothes were rumpled but no Jack was lying in the bed. Daniel turned on the light noticing the ratty sneakers Jack usually wore around the house were missing. He looked through the windows, noticing how clear a night it was. Daniel smiled and headed towards the deck, knowing exactly where to find one missing Air Force Colonel.

Shivering as he got to Jack's rooftop observation deck, Daniel was relieved to see Jack sitting in his deck chair.

"Jack, you okay?" Daniel kept his voice low, not wanting to wake Jack if he was dozing.

There was enough light to see Jack's smile in the night. "Hey, Daniel. I didn't wake you up did I?"

Daniel shook his head and sat down beside Jack's chair. "No. What about you?"

Jack waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. "Guess I wasn't such a good host, falling asleep on you like that."

Shrugging his shoulders, Daniel squinted up at Jack. "You were exhausted. Not often you get to, you know..." He waved his hand towards the stars.

"No. Not often." Jack tilted his head back. "Pretty amazing." He shifted in his chair and looked at Daniel. "All that stuff in my head and it's all gone."

"Do you remember what it was like?" Daniel asked. "Not the stuff in there, but the experience."

Jack shrugged. "A little. I remember not being able to get all of what was inside out. Not being able to express what I needed to say." Jack shivered, the only sign of remaining distress.

Daniel nodded. "I wish I had been able to do more. Figure out a way to help you communicate." He studied his bare feet, wishing he'd thought to at least put on a pair of socks, unable to look at Jack.

"That meaning of life stuff," Jack said into the night, "it wasn't just what I learned out there."

Daniel looked up, curious at Jack's comment, but he remained silent and waiting.

"I learned some meaning of life stuff here on good old Planet Number Three," Jack continued. "Stuff about friends and sticking it out when times get tough."

Daniel swallowed, his throat dry.

"And what it feels like to have someone believe in you even if no one else does."

"Sounds like some pretty important stuff," Daniel finally managed to say, the self-doubt and fears of earlier melting away into the night.

"Meaning of life stuff. Very important stuff. The most important stuff," Jack agreed. He stretched his arms over his head. "Hey, Daniel. What do you say we go back downstairs and eat that pizza?" Jack stood up and Daniel winced as he heard Jack's knees crack with the movement.

"Sounds good, Jack. Sounds very good." Daniel smiled and followed his friend down the ladder after giving one last look up to the stars. He smiled as he heard Jack begin to whistle once more. Yep, meaning of life stuff indeed.

  



End file.
